Mixology

From Explorers and Explorations of the Early Twenty-Third Century,
Kate Gillman and Ronald Fairsom, 2265.

Francis Finagle
Born: Kilkenny Ireland, 2221
Died: Starbase 18, 2259

There have been other pioneers who made greater contributions by their lives, but possibly none who contributed as much as Francis Finagle did by his death. If Zephram Cochrane has been deemed the Father of warp drive, Finagle will be known as the Grandfather of transwarp propulsion, the vehicle of the future. Sadly, Finagle did not live to see the day on which that break-though will be realized.

Finagle was born in 2221, the seventh son of a seventh son, and as such he was supposed to be uncommonly lucky. In his deathbed interview, he indicated that despite the final hand that had been dealt to him, he considered himself to be just that. But it appears that that luck was bestowed upon others, not him.

Finagle was a man unto himself. A privately financed explorer, he made three voyages in his ship, Amelior, with a crew of only seven hand-picked specialists. On his first voyage, 2247 to 2249, he opened up Mirfak XI to astroculture, the Cygnian outer asteroid belt to dilithium mining, and the moons of Polaris to hetroium energy production. In a more sensational move, he proved that the interspace between the twin stars of the Acrux system could be successfully traversed, at considerable risk to his own ship and crew.

During his second voyage, 2252 to 2255, he was financed entirely by the Federation Department of Expansion and Development. He mapped over four cubic parsecs of space between the spiral arms, cataloguing one hundred twenty seven new class M planets for further exploration by Starfleet. In public statements he frequently reiterated his discontent with that role. He wanted to walk on those planets, and touch and feel and breath what he had discovered, but their commission did not permit the additional time or expense.

And so on 2257 he set out again, this time financed by a scientific conglomerate. On this voyage expanded he crew to nine, adding mission specialists in several disciplines. He collected specimens and made extensive measurements of various planetary phenomena.

One of his final and most memorable finds occurred on Kaus Australis III. While on a survey party, he discovered a rock outcrop emitting an unknown Brekian signature. After taking readings he phasered off a specimen, resulting in what he described as sudden, intense explosion. He described a fleeting but intense psychedelic array of colors, before feeling the fatal burn on his skin. His instruments captured the recording of emissions we now know of as pleiophasic accretion radiation.

Realizing that something had happened, although unsure of exactly what, he aborted the survey and made and emergency evac to Starbase 18. But too much damage had already been done to his basal cellular structure and treatment was judged to be ineffective. He died eighty-seven days after his exposure.

But the radiation data collected by his instruments survived and proved the key link needed to make transwarp technology a reality. Finagle received a Nobel Prize, although the award was conferred posthumously. At the time of publication, first stage trials have been completed and second stage are in progress.

In his final interview just two days before his death, Finagle was asked if he had it to do over again, would he still fire that phaser. His flesh was already disintegrating; his skin was all but sloughed off. He was blind and too weak to lift his arms or legs against gravity. And yet he said, "Yes. Issac Newton told us half a millennium ago that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. That's still true. No asset is obtained without a cost.

"But I have always been lucky. Because of that phaser shot we will be able to reach new galaxies and see things our fathers' fathers could not even conceive. Races with nothing in common will come together and lay their own common ground. I think that was the luckiest second of my life. Don't you?"

But the marker by the outcrop still reads "Finagle's Folly."

Doctors make the very worst patients.
-Anon

From The Federation Medical Society Guide to the Assessment of Medical Impairment in Humans. Eighth edition, 2260.

Hands, physical or functional loss: Bilateral complete loss of use or loss of both upper extremities to include all digits renders individual dependent on the assistance of others or mechanical aids and will be considered 100% disability.

Affected individuals are will receive full time aid and attendance benefits until amelioration.

Terran Automated Infogram, 2267

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Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Lcdr. M. Scott
Timestamp: 2984.113

Scotty, can't you help me out? I'm helpless here. It took me two minutes to toggle the damned "on" switch with my elbow. If you don't, my only other choice is to actually move in with Spock. Please Scotty, help! If that happens, not only will I have to beg him to do everything for me from feeding me to wiping my ass, but I'm going to have to listen to "I told you so" in Vulcan every thirty minutes for the next forty-four days. Please?

(clunking noises)

Damn!

(clunking noises)

Almost--

Voicememo: Lcdr. M. Scott to Lcdr. L. McCoy
Timestamp: 2984.39

I'm an engineer, nae a doll maker. And I could ha' lived a bonnie good life without tha' one particular image in me head, thank ye verra much.

Maybe Spock can fix you up wi' a model. Unless he rather fancies keepin' that job fer himself.

Scott out.

Captain's Log Stardate: 2984.6

Mister Spock has requested and been given a temporary reduction in ship's duties under the provisions of family and partnership leave regulation, to allow him to assist Doctor McCoy during his infirmity. This will put particular demands on Mister Scott, who will be required to assume some duties of First Officer. All things considered, I find a certain--rightness--to that situation.

Voicememo: Cdr. Spock to Quartermaster Yazdi:
Timestamp: 2984.683

Log Chief Medical Officer Leonard Horatio McCoy reassigned to First Officer's cabin 3F 83, effective immediately.

From Growing Together without Falling Apart,--a modern guide to cohabitation in the twenty-third century, by Heidi Blumbottom, MD, Ph.D., JD, 2263

Introduction

Living together before marriage has been associated with a higher rate of divorce and separation ever since the studies began in the twentieth century. Many theories have been proposed as to why. Most of them revolve around the manner in which an expectation permanence and therefore expected eventual conflict resolution influences couples' decision making and communication.

Leave me alone! You don't outrank me and you don't have pointed ears, so just get off my back!
-- Joey Tormolen, "The Naked Time"

From Coping with Sudden Illness, by Edward T. Brown, MD, 2163

But perhaps the worst of all is the loss of autonomy. In a 2060 AARP survey of persons over 50, the fear of losing the ability to care for oneself was rated four times more common than the fear of death itself. From cradle to grave, autonomy determines our self worth. Passing the milestones of learning to crawl, walk, toilet, feed ourselves, pilot, reason abstractly, and handle transactions mark the uphill road to adulthood. Seeing the converse happen bit-by-bit confirms our downhill slide and the perceived failure of ending life as helpless as when we began is the are. Each modicum of dependence on another eats away at our self worth.

Illness and injury which steal these abilities are just as traumatic, leading the affected person to depression, irritability, and social isolation, even initially from involved friends and health-care workers. The higher the pre-injury function of the individual, the more profound the initial negative reaction tends to be. But this normal rebound response to shock should be recognized and worked through as rapidly as possible, with professional behavioral support if need be for these patients actually have the best prognosis. This period of post-traumatic adjustment is particularly hard on family and friends. Physicians and therapists should help them recognize it for the normal response that it is.

Captain's Log: Stardate 2996.1:

We are in orbit around Procyon XII, where the landing party has just has returned from a search and rescue mission. Sixteen survivors were recovered. A seventeenth died while undergoing emergency field surgery. Despite the best efforts of Nurse Chapel, he died before extraction. I believe my Doctor McCoy blames himself for not being fit for field duty, and the overall success of the mission has been dampened by the loss.

Medical Log: Patient: Leonard McCoy
Timestamp: 2996.163
Entered by: Doctor M'Benga

Force splint to right hand malfunctioned--unclear cause. Evidence of trauma to splint field generator. Generator repaired; regrowth accelerator reapplied. Underlying tissue healing as expected; no apparent setback.

Maintenance Work Order: 2996.193
Repair hole in bulkhead, cabin 3F 83.

From The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (Human).
Ed. VI, 2223

Diagnostic Criteria for Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood

I. Five or more symptoms from the listed criteria must develop in response to an identifiable event(s) and occur within three months of the onset of that event(s) / stressor(s). One of the symptoms must be either (1) depressed or irritable mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure.

A.

   1. depressed or irritable mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective
   report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others.

   2. markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly
   every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others).

   3. change of body weight by more than 5% in a month, not explicable by intentional changes in diet
    or other medical condition, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.

   4. insomnia or hypersomnia.

   5. observable psychomotor agitation or retardation.

   6. fatigue or loss of energy.

   7. feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt.

   8. diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, (either subjective
   account or as observed by others).

   9 recurrent thoughts of death or recurrent suicidal ideation.

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Quartermaster Yazdi
Timestamp: 2996.362

Reassign me back to 3F 127. This isn't working. I just want to be alone.

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Mcyn. Rand
Timestamp: 2996.384

Janice, please make arrangements to have someone transfer my personal effects from 3F 83 to 3F 127 as soon as possible. Gamma shift is fine. I won't be asleep anyway.

And I'll need someone to help me for a while with a few little things for a few days.

Voicememo: Yn3. T. Lawton to Mcyn. J. Rand
Timestamp: 2997.035

Janice, Doctor McCoy asked me to come by in the mornings to help him dress. I'm sure he's harmless, but the order makes me uncomfortable and I am uncertain as to the appropriateness of the situation. I respectfully request a change of assignment under regulation 462b subsection iv, until this can be resolved.

Tina Lawton, out.

To: All personnel
From: Master Chief Yeoman Rand
Stardate: 2997.2
Re: Regulations

This is a reminder that yeomen may not be required to perform or assist in any of the personal activities of daily living, only those obligations directly involved with Starfleet interests.

Thank you,
J. Rand

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Mcyn. J. Rand
Timestamp: 2997.444

Janice, have a heart. I can't do anything by myself, not even eat or drink. I don't know what else to do.

To: First Officer Spock
From: Chief Yeoman Rand
Stardate: 2997. 939
Re: Regulations

I am encountering some confusion among certain officers as to the appropriate delegation of duties for yeoman. I respectfully request that the crew be reminded of the difference between the need for medical aid and attendance by a health care aide, and legitimate dispatch of yeomen assigned to direct Starfleet interests.

J. Rand

To All personnel
From: First Officer Spock
Stardate: 2998.083
Re: Regulation 149m subsections i and ii and iii

As per Starfleet regulation 149 section m, subsection i, all ship's personnel, whether on active duty or otherwise, are required to maintain their body, quarters and personal effects as per standards stipulated in regulation 48.

As per subsection ii, persons judged to be unable to do so for medical reasons for more than ten (10) consecutive days must be discharged at the nearest feasible Federation base or transport to said base until recovered sufficiently to attend to their own needs.

As per subsection iii, personnel unwilling to do so will be discharged dishonorably at the nearest feasible Federation facility or transport to said facility.

Spock

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Cdr. Spock
Timestamp: 2998.784

Uh, Spock--I need your help. And I'm sorry. Really. This is just so damn hard; I just feel completely useless. Can I talk to you?

It's no trifle at his time of life, to part with a doctor who knows his constitution.
-George Eliot, Scenes of Clerical Life, 1858

To: Enterprise Quartermaster Yazdi
From: Lieutenant Commander Spock :
Stardate: 2998.793
Re: Cabin requisitions

Reassign Lieutenant Commander Leonard McCoy to 3F83, effective immediately.

Spock

I admit

Not with shame
   But with pride
I need your presence
I need your touch
    I need....
                   You

--Leonard Nimoy,
from Come Be with Me, 1978

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure heats up the blood.
--Elizabeth Ashley, c.1950

Voice clip from treble encoded Personal Log B of Spock Cha Sarek, 2999.840

"Oh Spock, that feels so good. Lower. Oh, yeah, right there. Oh. OH!...Oh, yes, you know what to do to me.

What....? *laughter* I love you too, you supercilious over-educated mutant leprechaun, now just don't stop. Faster....faster! Hey, what are you doing up there with your other hand? Rub my nipples...come on...please.... Please... can't do it myself. Oh, come on--faster! I want you so much. Rub my nipple! Use your other hand...."

[recorder switched off, recording interrupted]

From Growing Together without Falling Apart,--a modern guide to cohabitation in the twenty-third century, Heidi Blumbottom, MD, Ph.D, JD, 2223

Chapter 7: Realignment of Expectations

The fifth phase of transition is the Realignment period. During this phase, all the special little things you used to love about him begin to drive you stark, raving mad. Realignment is the most common stage of stagnation for Dysfunctional Couples.

Biocomp inquiry processed from Lcdr. Spock
Timestamp: 3001.463
Etiology and treatment options of human condition known as "snoring"

From The Merck Manual, 28th ed. 2251

Snoring: Treatment

Treatment of snoring should be directed at the underlying cause, be it obesity, drug side effect, or upper airway obstruction. Uncomplicated snoring in a healthy person is relatively resistant to treatment. Fortunately it is seldom a problem for the patient; it is usually only a problem for any bedmate.

Sir, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your coffee.
                          - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
                          - Winston Churchill to Mary Astor

                                                                   c.1930

Voicememo: Lt. A. M'Benga to Lcdr. L. McCoy
Timestamp: 3016.901

Len, I double-checked. I was right. There's no such thing as obsessive-compulsive disorders in Vulcan psychology. It's just--normal. Good luck!

M'Benga, out.

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Doctor A. M'Benga
Timestamp: 3017.008

Assigid, you don't understand. He does it EXACTLY the same way every-- single--time! He starts in at precisely the same time every morning, wants exactly the same stuff, goes through it in exactly the same order, finishes at exactly the same time, gets up and hits the shower and gets out at exactly the same time, whether I'm done or not. How can possibly that be normal? Not only is it boring as hell, but it is pretty goddamned rude. I tried to talk him into a little variety just for my sake, but the presumptuous, green-blooded, dogmatic pedant won't budge. He says it's "healthier" for Vulcan's that way. My ass.

Voicememo: Nurse C. Chapel to Lcdr. L. McCoy
Timestamp: 3017.139

Hi, Len. In processing Doctor M'Benga's messages for him, I found your memo. Please tell me you're talking about eating breakfast, or I don't know how I'll be able to look you in the eye ever again without laughing. And to think I almost.... Hahahahaha!

Sex is a 13-letter word, and it's spelled "communication."
--Bryce Britton, c.2000

HABITAT CONTROL LOG: 3F 83

SD 3021.309: ambient temperature reset to 294K
SD 3021.352: ambient temperature reset to 308K
SD 3021.400: ambient temperature reset to 294K
SD 3021.444: ambient temperature reset to 308K
SD 3021.472: ambient temperature reset to 294K
SD 3021.491: ambient temperature reset to 308K
SD 3021.506: Medical priority, ambient temperature reset to 294K
SD 3021.517: Command override, ambient temperature reset to 308K

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Lcdr. M. Scott
Timestamp: 3021.529 [poor quality, forced whisper, some portions lost]

Scotty, you gotta help me. I'm...to nothing.... See if you can...our cabin environmental controls for...in the range of even pseudo-sanity and I'll...with that little nurse you...and ...you forever.

HABITAT CONTROL LOG: 3F 83

SD 3021.832: Emergency Engineering override 1B2B3, temperature reset to 294K
SD 3021.930: Emergency Executive Officer override 20TY6SJ3VB006, temperature reset to 308K
SD 3022.004: All input data lost at sensor. Sensor unit presumed lost to sudden external force causing catastrophic damage. Temperature reset to ship's standard 296K

Maintenance Work Order: 3022.193
Repair environmental control sensor, cabin 3F 83. Repair adjacent bulkhead.

Medical Log: Patient: Leonard McCoy
Timestamp: 3022.196
Entered by: Doctor M'Benga

Force splint to right hand malfunctioned--unclear cause. Evidence of trauma to splint force generator. Generator repaired; growth accelerator applied. Underlying tissue healing as expected; no apparent setback.

To: Quartermaster
From: First Officer Spock
Stardate: 3022.2
Re: Cabin Assignments

Reassign Lieutenant Commander Leonard McCoy to 3F 127, effective immediately.

From Intercourse of the Spirits, by Deepak Chopra, 2010.

The re-achievement of the bliss into which we were born is the ultimate goal. But do not fall to the belief that the attainment of bliss in physical union abrogates the need to achieve the bliss of harmonious mental communion. For the two are separate, and only rarely intersecting planes.

Voicememo: Nurse Chapel to Lcdr. McCoy
Timestamp: 3024.072

Hi, Len. I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I'm working double shifts with you being out; I'd love to help, but I don't have that kind of time.

Why don't you just apologize?

Voicememo: Lcdr. L. McCoy to Nurse C. Chapel
Timestamp: 3023.188

You try apologizing to that god-dammed devious no-good stuck-up holier-than-thou frozen green-blooded son-of-a-bitch! I'd rather rot!

Would you please just come over for one minute and help me seal my scrubs? I'm supposed to be in a quality assurance meeting in twenty minutes.

Voicememo: Nurse C. Chapel to Lcdr. L. McCoy
Timestamp: 3023.197

Remember those serial enemas you made me give to the entire Denebian delegation last year?
Payback is hell, boss. You figure it out.

And he was all out of sorts in the biolab meeting today. I think he misses you too.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT


             Spock,

Sometimes in our lives,
if we are very, very lucky,
something comes along
that is so astounding
and so far from our expectations
that we almost let it fall by the
for failure to recognize the
extraordinary treasure that it is.

Please let me come back for you.

~Lenny

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
   © Hallmark, 2366

Our friends are those who know their own faults well enough to forgive us ours.
--Moulton Farnham, c.1980

Quartermaster's Log: Stardate 3025.093

Lieutenant Commander Leonard McCoy reassigned to 3F 83
Lieutenant Hailey Thomas assigned to 3F 127

Maintenance Work Order 2025.134
Replace single berth 3F 83 with double berth.

From "Establishing Households and Domestic Relationships", Nature, Bozzi and Jurgenson, 2264.

Conclusion:

It has long been believed that couples who live together have worse outcomes in marriage, but we find that too be too simplistic. While it is true that couples who co-habitat primarily in order to delay a decision to marry have much higher rates of separation, other groups do not.

Couples who wish to wed, but are prevented by legal or practical circumstances, have only slightly higher rates of separation than do married couples. And while there were practical problems with the study group classification, uncommitted persons cohabiting though circumstance have an even lower rate of separation than the general population, should they eventually marry each other.

And so we conclude that the transition from friends and lovers to successful full time domestic partnership often comes in with the roar of a lion, but settles in to the gentle affection and contentment of a lamb. Living together is only one of several "tests" of long-term compatibility. The best predictor of a good marriage is a long, relatively smooth relationship, in which a wide variety of problems and are experienced and overcome together. In addition, good communication and agreement of goals is needed about many possible future situations, such as educational and career plans of both, having and caring for children by both, family relationships, religious matters, money matters, life-style, division of labor etc. When handled responsibly with insight and maturity by both partners, and set on a background of genuine love and affection, premarital cohabitation may pave the way to a long and rewarding marriage.

Like a circle
      In the sand
   Loneliness waits
      For a
         Love wind
            To wash it to the sea.

   I'll be your
           wind
   Will you be
           mine?

Leonard Nimoy, We Are All Children Searching for Love, 1977

Spock Cha Sarek
and
Leonard Horatio McCoy
request the honor
of your presence
as they affirm their
commitment for life.

The bonding ritual will be held
on Stardate
three zero four eight
point two six
in the chapel of the

with reception to follow in
the Deck five recreation room.

No gifts. No alcohol.